I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
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