no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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