My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
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