He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
