Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
