I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
