you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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