He is an equal opportunity slut.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
