the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
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