So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Randomize
