it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
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