Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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