Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
