Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
