Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
