I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
i just made my gag reflex go away.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Randomize
