i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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