OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
