Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
