Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
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