Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
