Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
