I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
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