I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
