uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
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