you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
