Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
