a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
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