We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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