Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Randomize
