my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
