the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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