Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
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