You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
