Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
