she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I smell like Dick and happiness
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