I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize