Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
home. puking in laundry basket.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I need a beard to bite.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Randomize
