just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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