you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
