You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
