the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
