You made me cry and you don't even care
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
