Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Randomize
