I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
