I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
