Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
