Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
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