I want to stick my p in your. b.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
