there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
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