i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
