I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
