I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
