I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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