Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
3 2 1 whiskey
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
